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Saturday, November 27, 2021

6 warning signs your husband or wife is a bully

File photo: A couple

When we think of an alpha male, we imagine a guy who is assertive, physically fit and isn’t afraid to express his thoughts. But sometimes, that behaviour can cross a line.

There are a lot of women whose husbands’ alpha male wiring goes to a whole other level. Unfortunately, many of these wives are in denial of their husband’s behaviour because, for whatever reason, they don’t want to confront the issue.

The same goes the other way as well with alpha females and their husbands. They can cross a line and end up bullying the man who adores them.

Keep in mind that this behaviuor is not healthy, and may be indicative of emotional abuse within your relationship. If you notice any of these signs, it may be time to question your relationship or leave it entirely.

Here are six signs your husband or wife is a bully:

1. They blame you for things that aren’t your fault

For example, when the dishwasher breaks, they immediately attack and assume you’re to blame, saying, “What did you do to the dishwasher?” This is not the kind of behavior you would expect in a healthy relationship.

2. They talk to you like you are a child

They make condescending and/or punitive comments to you such as, “I want you to think more about…” or “You need to use better judgment about…” instead of addressing you as an equal. Every partnership should be 50/50; nobody wants to be talked down to.

3. They use an intimidating tone to others when asking for help

Let’s say you’re at a restaurant with your spouse where their food is served too cold. In an attacking tone, they demand that the waiter take back their food as if the waiter instructed the chef to ruin their meal.

They respond to others as if everyone is out to get them. Again, this is certainly not healthy behavior.

4. They tend to make fun of children or tease them under the guise of “playing”

Your husband or wife may think they are just playing with the neighborhood kids, but they make unsolicited comments like, “Hey, Billy, do you throw your ball like a boy or a girl?”

You can be sure that Billy won’t be feeling too good about himself on his walk home.

5. They criticise your character and possibly even your children

When expressing their frustrations, they don’t say, “I’m so frustrated!” Instead, they exclaim, “What the hell is wrong with you? Can’t you do anything right?”

6. They suffer from “lawyer syndrome.”

What is “lawyer syndrome” anyway? It’s when someone gains an overly inflated sense of their own ego or believes that they can do no wrong.

This is commonly known as narcissistic personality disorder. Many bullies have a tendency to fall into the narcissist category and believe they’re smarter, more knowledgeable, or just plain better than everyone else at making decisions.

They will often suggest that you don’t know what you’re talking about or shoot down your ideas as dumb or invalid. Or, they may even make you feel like you are incapable of making a decision on your own at all.

You are deserving of the best kind of love and relationship. Don’t let a bully derail that or convince you otherwise.

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